Troll
I don't know what I find more disturbing. The fact that soon-to-be-ex-husband is trolling the net to find this blog or the fact that he had the nerve to email me to object to so-called 'falsehoods' in it. Apparently he objects to me saying he left us with a lot of debt, which I never actually either said or implied. But OK - here's a clarification, in case he's trolling again.
When he left, there were a number of household bills that were outstanding and had been, in some cases, for a number of months. He left and from that time, did not provide one penny in support for us, even when he started his new job. He knew there were bills in arrears. He knew the clothes drier was broken as we were going to the launderette for months beforehand. So he knew he was leaving us without any support and without a clothes drier in the middle of winter. I was in the middle of a health investigation that requires continual treatment. He knew he was leaving me and my children with no health insurance when he quit his job.
I hope that's clear. I wouldn't want to be accused of telling falsehoods again.
I'm actually grateful for DH's forgiveness of my many faults and the hurt I caused him and reciprocate freely. But that doesn't mean I want anything to do with him ever again on any level. I am not at all bitter; in fact I am reconciled and have moved on. Life, on the whole, is pretty good. I am healthy and whole. My children are healthy and strong in spite of the negative influences that have sometimes assailed them in their lives because they know they can rely on me, their mother, to always be there for them, to never, ever abandon them, to love and support them unconditionally putting their needs above my own. My sons know what a strong woman is, what a good mother is and should be. They know they are loved and know they deserve to be loved. They are achievers in their own right, hard workers, honest and reliable men, strong, sensitive, caring and compassionate. My daughter is a bold and beautiful young woman, a free spirit and unstifled by demands of those selfish types who would smother her and use her to bolster their own inadequacies. My daughter has a strong, devoted mother to rely on and is growing into a wonderful, independent, creative young woman with so much potential. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I know I make mistakes and am a deeply flawed individual. I am, however, a good mother and my excellent children are proof of that. I have made many choices, some good, some bad, but each choice shapes us into the people we are. We can choose to be hatefilled and bitter, blame others for our situations, justify poor decisions or we can choose freedom and light. Things are what they are - we can learn and grow or stagnate. I choose to grow.
When he left, there were a number of household bills that were outstanding and had been, in some cases, for a number of months. He left and from that time, did not provide one penny in support for us, even when he started his new job. He knew there were bills in arrears. He knew the clothes drier was broken as we were going to the launderette for months beforehand. So he knew he was leaving us without any support and without a clothes drier in the middle of winter. I was in the middle of a health investigation that requires continual treatment. He knew he was leaving me and my children with no health insurance when he quit his job.
I hope that's clear. I wouldn't want to be accused of telling falsehoods again.
I'm actually grateful for DH's forgiveness of my many faults and the hurt I caused him and reciprocate freely. But that doesn't mean I want anything to do with him ever again on any level. I am not at all bitter; in fact I am reconciled and have moved on. Life, on the whole, is pretty good. I am healthy and whole. My children are healthy and strong in spite of the negative influences that have sometimes assailed them in their lives because they know they can rely on me, their mother, to always be there for them, to never, ever abandon them, to love and support them unconditionally putting their needs above my own. My sons know what a strong woman is, what a good mother is and should be. They know they are loved and know they deserve to be loved. They are achievers in their own right, hard workers, honest and reliable men, strong, sensitive, caring and compassionate. My daughter is a bold and beautiful young woman, a free spirit and unstifled by demands of those selfish types who would smother her and use her to bolster their own inadequacies. My daughter has a strong, devoted mother to rely on and is growing into a wonderful, independent, creative young woman with so much potential. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I know I make mistakes and am a deeply flawed individual. I am, however, a good mother and my excellent children are proof of that. I have made many choices, some good, some bad, but each choice shapes us into the people we are. We can choose to be hatefilled and bitter, blame others for our situations, justify poor decisions or we can choose freedom and light. Things are what they are - we can learn and grow or stagnate. I choose to grow.
posted by Obscurium @ 5:08 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:58 AM,
Just Julez said…
I dunno when or if you'll see this. I'm sure it probably doesn't even apply anymore. I do know you know *I* know how you feel.
Do you remember when Kim and Susan tried to gang-bang me into taking anti-depressants while we were in Vegas? I never did. I'm glad I didn't. I speak only for myself in saying this, but I needed to feel that pain. I didn't want to, but I needed to. It taught me quite a lot, that pain. It hurt enough that it kept me safe until I could make the wisest decisions about my life, and relationships. I recall very clearly allowing it to wash over me from time to time, too. I never winced. I met it head-on, instead of shoving it back into the que. The end result was, when I was done, I was done. I still have what I call "John moments", but they are very rare.
And look at us! Jo, we've been through things that would not only bring the average woman to their knees-it would squash them flat and turn them into disgusting, weepy, whiney emotional leeches. We would ridicule them and laugh uproariously. I know this because we already have :)
For whatever this is worth, I want you to know how proud I am of you, and how grateful I am that you're a part of my life. I don't do 'mushy' well or often, but I consider you a blessing. Don't screw that up *nods*
Remember what you said to me during that first infamous phone call? Would ya have him back? No? Then what the devil are you crying for? Every time I think of that, I snicker. I hope you do, too.
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